Archive for August, 2004

Maybe I Won’t Look Back..

Aww man, camp was pretty fun. Not as great as previous years, though, according to most everyone I’d talked to. Sorry boys and girls, I guess my heart wasn’t in it, in terms of planning it this year. And NEXT time, we’ll go back to old fashion tent-camping, which is by far, the best way to bond.

Thanks girls, for pouring your heart out and sharing your lives with me. I love sharing time. And it’s just so nice to “relieve yourself”…to let go of the burdens. Yes, there were tears…But I think it shows we’re strong. Girls tend to be more open with their feelings, and we’re not afraid to be vulnerable to one another. But guys on the other hand…well, I guess I can’t make generalizations like that.

*sigh* I’m so weak. I fall so easily…Even after camp.

Maybe I Won’t Look Back - Stacie Orrico
I woke up from dreaming
I returned a call from a friend of mine, she sounded really lonely
But I had somewhere to be
I said I’ll call you later
‘Cause I really need to go, I can’t be late, she’ll be okay, this is important
Then I forgot completely

You can be who you choose to be
But whether you do, or whether you don’t
Depends on your priority
And I know that it’s not easy

I’m looking for the peace to find some sleep tonight
‘Cause I’m
Not very proud of the way I have lived today

But if I choose to
Follow Him along the way
Then maybe I won’t look back
Feel like time is gonna pass me by
Then maybe I won’t look back

On those days I could of said something
In those times when help was needed I was busy
I was within the words to see the moment is good
In some way I could have been something
I thought I was done with a simple smile, but I was selfish
But if I change my heart today, tomorrow it may be okay
And maybe I won’t look back

I woke up from a nightmare
Where I was talking down this street, invisible and no one else could see me
All my chances were gone
I can’t get your attention
I’ve had many things to say, but never tried, afraid you wouldn’t listen
Should of done it all differently

You can be who you choose to be
But whether you do, or whether you don’t
Depends on your priority
Lord help me to choose wisely

I’m looking for the peace to find some sleep tonight
‘Cause I’m
Not very proud of the way I have lived today
But if I choose to
Follow Him along the way
Then maybe I won’t look back
Feel like time is gonna pass me by
Then maybe I won’t look back

On those days I could of said something
In those times when help was needed I was busy
I was within the words to see the moment is good
In some way I could have been something
I thought I was done with a simple smile, but I was selfish
But if I change my heart today, tomorrow it may be okay
And maybe I won’t look back

I can’t hold back, I can’t be shy
This is my big chance to be living the life, I gotta
Stand up strong and take the ride
Throw all those useless excuses aside
So much to do, I got a lot to say
I don’t always understand but I’ll gonna follow anyway
‘Cause there is a bigger plan, a destiny
I can’t waste this precious time

I’m looking for the peace to find some sleep tonight
‘Cause I’m
Not very proud of the way I have lived today
But if I choose to
Follow Him along the way
Then maybe I won’t look back
Feel like time is gonna pass me by
Then maybe I won’t look back

On those days I could of said something
In those times when help was needed I was busy
I was within the words to see the moment is good
In some way I could have been something
I thought I was done with a simple smile, but I was selfish
But if I change my heart today, tomorrow it may be okay
And maybe I won’t look back

Then maybe I won’t look back
Then maybe I won’t look back..

King Josiah

2 Chronicles 34, 35

Josiah became king of Jerusalem when he was only 8 years old. Even though his father “did what was evil in the Lord’s sight” and “did not humble himself before the Lord”, somehow Josiah was still able to do what was right. Without a good example from his father, I’m amazed that he turned out okay. “He did not turn aside form doing what was right.”

I grew up in a christian family..I’ve been going to church since I was a little wee kid. But if it wasn’t for my parents, I don’t know if I would be a christian. How did Josiah come to know the Lord? Before his rule, Amon (his father) “worshiped and sacrificed to all the idols his father (Manasseh) had made”. It seemed like there wasn’t one good man in Amon’s time. Maybe because Amon’s whole life is summarized in 5 verses.

Anyways, Josiah’s life is really a testament that your roots shouldn’t define who you are. Josiah could’ve easily fallen into worshipping pagan gods, but instead he sought after the God of his ancestor David. Let God shape who you are, not your parents, the mistakes of your past..

Fallen - Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I’ve tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I’ve tried, I’ve fallen…
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don’t come round here
And tell me I told you so…

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It’s the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I’m lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don’t see
But it’s one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn’t seem a way to be redeemed

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“Young girls hope all sorts of foolish things, Sayuri. Hopes are like hair ornaments. Girls want to wear too many of them. When they become old women they look silly wearing even one.”

“But now I know that our world is no more permanent than a wave rising on the ocean. Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer them, all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper.”

“The Chairman was the only man I’d ever entertained as Sayuri the geisha who had also known me as Chiyo — though it was strange to think of it this way, for I’d never realized it before. What would Nobu have done if he had been the one to find me that day at the Shirakawa Stream? Surely he would have walked right past…how much easier it might have been for me if he had. I wouldn’t spend my nights yearning for the Chairman. I wouldn’t stop in cosmetics shops from time to time, to smell the scent of talc in the air and remind myself of his skin. I wouldn’t strain to picture his presence beside me in some imaginary place. If you’d asked me why I wanted these things, I would have answered, Why does a ripe persimmon taste delicious? Why does wood smell smoky when it burns?”

Quotes from “Memoirs of a Geisha” by Arthur Golden.

I Saw - Matt Nathanson

And it’s amazing
With the look in your eyes
Like you could save me
But you won’t even try
And then you tell me again
How everything will be alright

And if I told you
That I’m sorry
Would you tell me that you were wrong?
Or would you hold me down forever
If I came to your for answers?

And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up, again

And I’m surrounded
You spill
All alive and brand new
And I’ll forget about you long enough
To forget why I need to

And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you’d just rescue me now

The days are
Drifting away from me
I still wake up
Burning through everything
It’s all I know
Somebody save me now

And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
I would be heavenly if
Baby you’d just rescue me now
Pictures in my head
I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you’d just rescue me now