2005 February Archive at princess paupr’s Reflections

Archive for February, 2005

I Have Confidence

Published

on February 26, 2005

. 3 Comments

..I’m working on it.

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what’s the matter with me?

I’ve always longed for adventure
To do the things I’ve never dared
And here I’m facing adventure
Then why am I so scared

A captain with seven children
What’s so fearsome about that?

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I’m worthy
And while I show them
I’ll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I’ll do better than my best
I have confidence they’ll put me to the test
But I’ll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children (Heaven bless them!)
They will look up to me

And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They’ll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn’t lie in numbers
Strength doesn’t lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up — Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

I can’t believe this kinda thing would happen

Published

princess_pauper

on February 25, 2005

in Uncategorized

. 15 Comments

…i’m back in waterloo now…I had to come back early because I have to attend a Discipleship workshop at CFC tomorrow.

Anyways, I couldn’t get a ride back, so I took the greyhound…it was my first time taking it by myself. I think the only other times I’ve taken a coach were during school trips.

I took the 9:30pm trip. It was a very uncomfortable trip.

I sat in middle-ish, window seat.

A tall male sat beside me.

You know when you sit beside someone, your leg sometimes leans against the other person? Yeah, it happens unless you make a conscious effort to keep your knees together. I really DISLIKE it when guys open up their legs so wide when they’re sitting down on a bus. First, it’s like you’re taking up two seats. Second, you’re touching my leg if I’m sitting beside you. Third, if I’m standing up (ie, on a crowded TTC bus) and I am forced to latch onto the pole in front of you, it’s just RUDE. Do you get my drift?

So this was the case on the ride back. I didn’t think much of it..just moved closer to my side. I closed my eyes, and just as I almost fell asleep, I felt a hand touch my leg.

I woke up abruptly and looked at the guy sitting beside me.

Did I imagine it? Was it an accident? My mom has always been the type to warn me about perverted ppl…any male stranger is a bad guy.

So I kept awake afterwards. The guy had his hand on his knee, and slowly, he moved it and touched mine.

I looked him in the face and then looked away..I didn’t how to vocalize myself. “What the FRIG? What the hell?” I felt him looking at me.

He did it again.

This time, I looked at him and said “Excuse me.”

I was burning with anger by now, but I just didn’t know what to say or do. I was in Cambridge now, so I was hoping just to get outta there and be in my room at rez.

Luckily, he stopped touching my leg…although he still invaded my space…moving his leg closer to mine.

I put a bag on my leg.

This is a messed up world. It’s the GREYHOUND for goodness sake? Why don’t you go to some bar to pick up a girl? Who do you think I am?

He left a few stops before mine.

The walk home for me was scary. Columbia to REV. So close, but it was so far. I should call walk safe next time.

SO SO SO SO scary. I want to scream…

Girls, avoid travelling alone. Watch out for creepy guys.

Winding Road - Bonnie Somerville

Published

princess_pauper

on February 25, 2005

in Uncategorized

. 0 Comments

Loving this song right now…Thanks Herman for sending it. It’s a winding road, but I’ll find my way home.

Well, the rain keeps on coming down
It feels like a flood in my head
And that road keeps on calling me
Screaming to everything lying ahead

And it’s a winding road
I’ve been walking for a long time
I still don’t know
Where it goes
And it’s a long way home
I’ve been searching for a long time
I still have hope
I’m gonna find my way home

And I can see a little house
On top of the hill
And I can smell the ocean
The salt in the air
And I can see you
You’re standing there
And you’re washing your car
And I can see California sun in your hair

And its a winding road
I’ve been walking for a long time
Still don’t know
Where it goes
And it’s a long way home
I’ve been searching for a long time
Still have hope
I’m gonna find my way home

All these dreams took me so far
And I felt I just couldn’t go on
And I want to hang
Out the window of your car
And see just how good this baby can run

‘Cause it’s a winding road
I’ve been walking for a long time
And I still don’t know
Where it goes
And it’s a long way home
I’ve been searching for a long time
Still have hope
We’re gonna find our way home

It’s a winding road
Still have hope
One day we’ll find our way home
It’s a long way home
I’ve been searching for a long time
Still have hope
We’re gonna find our way home

It’s a long way home
It’s a long way home

Cognitive Traps

Published

princess_pauper

on February 23, 2005

in Uncategorized

. 8 Comments

-All or nothing thinking
-Overgeneralization
-Mental filter
-Discounting the positive
-Jumping to conclusions
-Magnification
-Emotional reasoning
-”Should” and must statements
-Labeling
-Personalization and blame

I am my worst enemy. [example of personalization and blame]