I came back from Campus Challenge Monday night. It was held at Trent University, Peterbrough from the 20th to 23rd. For those who do not know what CC is all about, (taken straight from their website)

As Christian students on campus have you ever asked yourself “What is my purpose on campus? What does campus ministry mean to me? Why and how do I serve on my campus fellowship? What is my role? Can I make a difference before I graduate? What’s after graduation?”….

We must understand our role and responsibilities as a God’s chosen people on our campuses. At this conference, you will be challegned to seek God’s purpose for you in your daily life on and off campus. Are you ready to take up the cross and follow Christ?

When I signed up for Campus Challenge, I had in mind to learn more about how I can stand out on campus as a Christian. It seems like the first year of university went by so quickly…the next few years, I know, will go back just as fast. In highschool, I never actively shared my faith with my friends. Sure, we had discussions and debates on life after death, what religion is “right” and I invited my friends to fellowship too…but I never made it a goal for me to reach out and share my faith. I think about that story by Joshua Harris ["the Room" (?)]..in my folder entitled “People I’ve shared my faith with”…will it be so empty and thin?

This year’s theme was “A Life Worthy of the Calling” and we studied the book of Ephesians during the retreat. To be honest, I don’t think I was “challenged” to spread my faith more boldly or whatever with friends. Instead, I did a lot of reflecting about my own relationship with God. Somewhere along the road, my passion for (lost) people had grown dim. My passion for God is waning. Why?

I feel like in my relationship with God, it is me that pursues God. The speaker Dan Siewart, however, reminded me that God pursues us. God pursues me. I can understand that it’s Him who initiates the relationship, but what about His part in making the relationship grow? (Does he play a part?) Praying, reading the bible, going to church and fellowship…These are all the things I do to try to deepen my understanding and grow closer to God. But perhaps it’s the Holy Spirit in me, that fuels longing to pray, read the bible etc. Hm…

I guess the main thing I (re)learned and will probably need to learn time and again is finding my completeness in Christ alone. I think I try to replace God with different things…They include…Guys – relationships. I think that this has been and will be a struggle for me…I have tried to purge myself of sappiness, but only to my own dismay. It kinda tore the joy outta my life. I talked to my small group girls about this and I think my approach has been too cut and dry. It’s OKAY to like boys (or girls, if you’re a guy). The thing is, I know right now is not the time for a relationship. Thus, I will refrain from undulging in thoughts about relationships…except it’s hard when you’re living with a brother who is hopelessly in love.

School; academics. In grade 5, Mr. Moseley told me I was his best student. It gave me a kind of euphoria, knowing that if I worked hard, I could get good marks…I could be smart…I could be praised…I could be liked. I don’t think it’s ever stopped being a struggle, to NOT judge my worth by my marks. Somehow, if I fail, I feel like I’m a failure. School becomes my idol…I work day and night to try and beat it. God says no….I’m more important. I’m your satisfaction.

Looks; outward beauty. The world is so set on appearances…Let’s just say, it’s a touchy touchy subject for any girl.

I am complete in Him. Only God can fill the emptiness. Only He can satisfy the longings of my heart.

But then, you ask, if God is “more than enough”, then why do we still long for relationships?

In “Passion and Purity”, Elizabeth talks about how we are made to long for the opposite sex…but that isn’t the only thing we should long for.

…we’re created men and women. If Adam needed Eve and she was made for him, isn’t it natural, then, isn’t it altogether fitting and proper, that men and women should hunger for each other?

It is natural indeed. However it’s not the only thing God has in mind for us. We are not meant to live merely by what is natural. We need to learn to live by the supernatural. Ordinary fare will no fill the emptiness in our hearts. Bread will not suffice. We need extraordinary fare. We need manna. How else will we learn to eat it, if we are never hungry? How educate our tastes for heavenly things if we are surfeited with earthly? Sex simply will not suffice any more than bread will.

My heart was saying, “Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long.” The Lord was answering, “I must teach you to long for something better.”

It’s knowing that chasing after all these things is useless…

On Earth as it is in Heaven..
Have you ever thought about that? Thy kingdom come, thy will be done…on EARTH as it is in heaven.

Social injustice (I went to this workshop)…is there anything we can do about it? I think we can…it’s a matter of praying for a heart that’s compassionate like Jesus…that’s sensitive to the people around you. As Christians, we should try to help those that are less fortunate…we should try to make heaven on Earth…though we’ll probably never get anywhere close to heaven.

Trust

I don’t know what to do anymore. I guess I never prayed to God asking what HE wanted for me, for this summer. I assumed it was a job. It’s what I need. It’s what our family needs. God keeps shutting doors…there are no windows in this house. I’m at my wit’s end and I’m tired. All that’s left is to trust. To trust and to have faith that He will provide.