Archive for November, 2006

Nothing But the Blood of Jesus (Something Like Silas version!!)

Published
by
jleung
on November 26, 2006
in Songs
. 1 Comment

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

How precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

Nothing can for sin atone
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
Naught of good that I have done
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

How precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

This is all my hope and peace
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
This is all my righteousness
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:22-23)

Skeletons in the closet

Published
by
jleung
on November 25, 2006
in Uncategorized
. 1 Comment

My heart is heavy…

Even though there is forgiveness in Christ, there are still “consequences” for sin (ie: God forgave David for sleeping with Bathsheba and murdering Uriah, but David’s firstborn died)…and even though God heals our brokenness, there are still scars.

Evie once told me (and Hannah repeated it) that “guilt and shame are not from God”. I don’t know if I necessarily agree with that, because I do believe that some types of guilt are “good” - they are reminders from God that you are doing something wrong. However, I know that if we have sincerely repented of our sin, God can and will wash away the crimson stains. Thus, I believe that any guilt/shame we experience after coming before God in repentance is NOT from God. Instead, they are weapons that Satan uses to distract us from the cross (or to make us forget what JESUS did on the cross) - to make us focus on ourselves with thoughts like “I’ll never be good enough or clean again.”

I have skeletons in my closet…

Clothe yourself

Published
by
jleung
on November 23, 2006
in Asides and Uncategorized
. 1 Comment

13Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

Mm…when I read verse 14, i imagined putting on Jesus - what would that be like? According to my study bible, “we must be so united and identified with Christ that we imitate his life as our pattern for iving, adopt his prinicples, obey his commands and become like him. This calls for a complete rejection of immorality and the acts of the sinful nature”

So today, as you put on your clothes, do your hair, or whatever it is that you do to groom yourself…put on Jesus;)

Loving in Pieces

Published
by
jleung
on November 22, 2006
in Uncategorized
. 3 Comments

I had a really good conversation with Sam last last night…it made me realize some things about myself.

First, I realize I’m much of a risk-taker…I only do things when I know for sure I can do it without well..failing. That’s why university was so scary when I first started…I didn’t know if I could “do it”. (I still doubt my ability, but now I have greater faith in God’s ability.) I think my fear of failing also applies in other aspects of life. As I grow older, I notice how it becomes harder and harder to love people without holding back. I guess to me, it’s a risk to care too much about other people…somehow, it stings when you care about the friendship more than the other person does. It hurts when you give and don’t receive the attention/care in return. Yeah, I know the way I talk about it makes relationships sound very much like a “transaction”. =/

Second, I think I’m a very proud person (while being pretty insecure about a lot of things too). I’m proud that I’m a guarded person. (I know “guarding your heart” is a good thing…but when I say I’m guarded, I mean I don’t let a lot of people close to me, and I don’t get close to a lot of people as I did before I got burned). Being guarded means that I don’t get hurt. I remember reading and relating to these lyrics:

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don’t talk of love,
But I’ve heard the words before;
It’s sleeping in my memory.
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Pride was also one of the reasons why I stopped going to CCF/fellowship last year. I felt I was strong enough to sustain myself…that I needed no one. It was a bitter lesson to learn…But I learned we are meant to live in community… (I’ll talk more about this in another post)

And so, I guess that’s where the term “loving in pieces” comes into place.

I want to stop loving people in pieces…loving parts of people (ie: the “good” parts and the easy to love parts) and only allowing a part of me to love them. I think I have struggled and still struggle a bit with how we were supposed to love our parents, friends etc when God tells us specifically to “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deut 6:5). Maybe it’s cuz my way of looking at things is warped. It’s not I am dividing off sections of my heart for loving other people and giving the biggest portion to God. Instead, by loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, strength…the outpouring of his love allows me to love other people. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

Sam shared with me a realization…he told me he had only one “regret”: he wishes he spent more time loving people and building memories with them. Looking back, things like marks and books don’t really matter anymore (not that they ever did a great deal!) He told me that relationships were the things worth investing in… And I agree.

In the end, it’s okay to be hurt. “Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”. It’s so cliche, but it’s true. Another quote I really love is from a line in “Paycheck” (Ben Affleck and Uma Thurman movie)…”We are the sum of our experiences”.

And so, I hope you won’t hold back…and neither will I.

“I just can’t shut up…”

Published
by
jleung
on November 15, 2006
in Uncategorized
. 2 Comments

When something really good happens to you, it’s hard to keep it to yourself. You want to share it with those around you…to share in the goodness of whatever you’ve discovered.

Alice (one of the patients) told me how she just can’t shut up about how good the Lord is. She was in a horrific car accident where her cousin (the driver) died shortly after arriving in the hospital…she and her twin sister hung on, but they both broke several bones…Months after the accident they are still in pain and still need rehab.

But she is still giving thanks…she praises God that she is still alive and thanks him for all that he has blessed her with (especially family - daughters and sons and grandchildren…) She tells her story wherever she goes.

Her story made me think about my own story…Sometimes, I feel like I’m so chicken to share my faith with my friends. Or I somehow diminish the worth of the gospel, thinking that they don’t need to hear it…sometimes I use the excuse that they don’t care. I really want to renew the passion in my heart that I once had, to “finish the job” and spread the gospel to the ends of the earth.

So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

2 Timothy 1:8-9 (NIV)

Stir it up in my heart, Lord. Stir it up in my heart, Lord…a Passion for Your name.