Someone once told me I ressemble Kristy Yeung:
And remember this magazine clipping? (I posted it on my old blog)
An uncle from my church found this pic…She’s a CEO of a weight-loss/fitness company.
Archive for December, 2006
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I’m closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
Forgetting all I’m lacking
Completely incomplete
I’ll take your invitation
You take all of me now…
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
There’s nothing else to lose
There’s nothing else to find
There’s nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I’m closer to where I started
Chasing after you….
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you
Nearing the end of another chapter. This is my last week working at SPARC (Scarborough Physiotherapy and Rehabilitation Centre).
It’s been quite a term…reflecting back on all that has happened, I can’t help but smile…Praise God!!!!
At the beginning of the term, I had the following goals:
Plans
-To grow in knowledge and depth of insight
-”Evol”
-Community
-Mandarin lessons
-Tutoring
-Large group teaching?
-History 4?
-Microbiology?
I don’t know how to really empirically measure whether I’ve grown in knowledge and depth of insight… Through Toronto Cell small group I learned the importance of always practicing the presence of God. To pray continually is to be constantly aware of God’s presence. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re always talking to God, but that you know he’s there. As for “Evol” (love, backwards), I think what I had in mind, originally, was something to the effect of showing others God’s love through my actions. I think this is an on-going goal. Mm..I learned a bit of mandarin, but not through taking lessons…I learned through trying to help mandarin patients. I didn’t do history 4 (Dad and mom aren’t too happy about that) or microbiology, but I was a tutor and a large group teacher for Promiseland.
If there’s one lesson I’ve learned this term from coop, it’s that loving other people is not easy. But there is great joy in doing what you’re called to do, even when it’s hard.. Working at SPARC, it was physically and emotionally draining work with little appreciation at the end of the day. Halfway through the term, I had a minor breakdown at work - I cried in front of all my coworkers and patients. I had no more strength of my own to tough it out. Crying was a release of my frustrations…it also made me vulnerable. It made me realize that I am not able to do it by myself - I need His strength. Mmm..and overall, it was a humbling experience. Especially having to ultrasound stinky feet and help unhygenic patients. I have to admit, I still don’t like doing it…but then I think about how most of the people Jesus hung out with were the outcasts of society - people that probably stunk a lot more than my patients. If I tried to love them with my own love, it wouldn’t be enough. But God’s love is strong enough! And with the whole practicing the presence of God, I think I learned to be more aware of when I was judging others merely by appearances…when I was priding myself as being better than others. I am still learning to ask God for forgiveness when I start judging in those ways and “not let it trouble me any further”. But yeah, to love as Jesus loved…? wow. I think if I loved like him, I wouldn’t even notice their foul smells.
God answers prayers…
I waited a long, long time…for you. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring or what is in store in the next chapter, but I thank God each time I think of you and I pray that I might give thanks no matter what.
Once there was a great storm,
Pushed my head beneath the waves,
I was gone.
Underneath the walnut tree,
Where you said you’d wait for me,
And I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time.
Why, why do I come here?
Seeking out the memories I hold dear,
‘Cause you put your spell on me,
Made me live in memory,
And im frozen in just the wrong time.
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time,
I waited a long, long time.
With Christmas approaching, many of us feel the stress of the holidays…presents to buy, parties to attend, cookies to bake, cards to write etc. I think I’ve been so busy with all these “fun” festivities that I’ve forgotten or pushed aside “the reason for the season”. Today at the community service party/end of term celebration, the skit reminded me of how Christmas is about Jesus. It’s about Jesus’ birthday and celebrating His birth! I think I would be angry if people did everything but celebrate my birthday, on my birthday. It occurred to me that Jesus wouldn’t want me to be stressing out about all the gifts I need to buy, about what outfit I should wear… I shouldn’t be dreading Christmas at all because Christmas is not about parties, cookies, cards and gifts. If you take away all those things, is it not still Christmas?
But maybe I’m just approaching all these things with a wrong minset…The get-togethers CAN be about merely socializing and talking about mindless things…but it can also be about celebrating God’s love with other people. Jesus is the reason for the season.
Today I got a bit of reality check. Most of the time I’m so preoccupied with my struggles (the whole “it’s all about me, me, me” thing) that I forget other people are hurting so much more. So I was talking to my student’s mother about school, going back to Waterloo. I found out that she also went to Waterloo and studied science. Well, I’m in AHS, but close enough…eventually we got to talking a bit about her personal life. She talked about how she recently separated from her husband and she’s basically raising 2 small kids (aged 3 and 6) on her own. I could sense her despair and pain… And when she started crying, all I could do was hug her…I told her that I was really glad that God had brought her to Jaffray and that God loves her so very much.
I pray that His love would overwhelm her…(maybe you could pray for her too?) I think about all the times I’ve cried out to the Lord and how he responded faithfully each time. I felt like crying out to God on her behalf (as weird as it sounds..)
1 Bend down, O Lord, and hear my prayer;
answer me, for I need your help.
2 Protect me, for I am devoted to you.
Save me, for I serve you and trust you.
You are my God.
3 Be merciful to me, O Lord,
for I am calling on you constantly.
4 Give me happiness, O Lord,
for I give myself to you.
5 O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive,
so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.
6 Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord;
hear my urgent cry.
7 I will call to you whenever I’m in trouble,
and you will answer me.
Psalm 86:1-7
He knows my name, he knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
Mm…
I really like the song “Christmas Shoes”…Here are the lyrics:
Newsong - The Christmas Shoes
It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin’ to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing ’round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes
His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn’t believe what I heard him say
Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time
You see she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, “Son, there’s not enough here”
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes
So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I’ll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama’s gonna look so great
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time
You see she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
Bridge:
I knew I’d caught a glimpse of heaven’s love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about
