princess paupr’s Reflections

I freak out about stuff….ALL THE TIME. Well, more like, a lot of the time…

I really need to stop doing this to myself..to my body. I’m pretty sure the stress on my body is causing free-radical oxidation. =P  And moreover, it reflects how shallow my trust/faith is in God.

Yesterday, I told my dad how I was so disappointed in myself because I couldn’t calm down during my interview to coherently express how the job is a good match with my skills and experiences etc. I was so nervous I thought I bombed the interview. He told me that I needn’t worry about coop, school stuff…to just chill (this is paraphrasing him). He also told me that he knows I try my best and that he’s proud of me. (I think I cried/teared up after that). I don’t have many heart-to-hearts with my dad, but I know he cares a lot. Today when I called him and told him I got the job, he was like “see, I told you so…why do you always underestimate yourself?”

I don’t know why.

Maybe this is just my thorn.  In many ways, I’d like to think I’ve come a long way…Compared to who I was in highschool, I know I’ve become a lot more confident/self-assured.   But yah..I just think it’s amazing how things are slowly coming together. It has been amazing to see how God really does provide - Jehovah Jireh. “I believe; help me with my disbelief”.

I can’t wait til summer:)

P.S. I’m working at the Ontario Ministry of Health and Long-term Care, in the Local Health Integration Networks (Toronto Central) as a planning and integration assistant.

So I cried watching this episode of “Full House” today.

Here’s an overview of the episode:

Jesse wants to have a romantic night with Becky, who tells Jesse that she can’t because she is scheduled for a business dinner with Beau McIntyre, a former football player who is scheduled to be a guest on “Wake Up, San Francisco”, and this makes Jesse jealous. There are 20 minutes left until Stephanie has to be at dance class, so what is there to do until then? She can’t get anyone to listen to her about how her day has gone so far, even Joey, who is preoccupied with his new car “Rosie”. When Joey sees a nick in Rosie’s paint, he leaves with Comet to go to Sid & Jean’s Auto Supplies to buy a bottle of touch up paint. While Joey is gone, Stephanie gets inside of “Rosie” so she’ll have something to do. As she is sitting in the driver’s seat, she decides to turn the radio on, and unaware that the radio doesn’t work, Stephanie turns the key, hoping that she’s turning it toward the auxiliary option that allows you to turn on the radio while the car is not running. Instead, she ends up starting the car. Not knowing what the letters and numbers on the gear lever mean, she thinks the letter R means “radio”, so she puts it on “R”, discovering the hard way that “R” means reverse, as “Rosie” backs up and crashes into the kitchen. Stephanie is so scared and feels so bad about it that she has her ride from dance class drop her off at Becky’s house, where Stephanie tells Becky that Stephanie can never go back home. Jesse shows up at Becky’s house to apologize for being jealous, and he talks to Stephanie, who is afraid Danny will stop loving her when he sees what she has done. Danny proves Stephanie wrong by saying that no matter what, he’ll never stop loving Stephanie, D.J., and Michelle.

Here’s the tear-jerking part.

Stephanie: I should never get any allowance or TV ever again. And you should send me away to carpenter school so I can build you a brand-new house you can live in without me. And you’d never have to hug or kiss me again.
Danny: Steph, there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop hugging and kissing you.
Stephanie: Nothing.
Danny: Come here. Look, you have to understand that no matter what you do wrong, and no matter how angry I get, I’m always going to forgive you because I love you.
Stephanie: How can you still love me?? I wrecked Joey’s car, and I broke the house!
Danny: Steph, those are just things. We can always buy a new car, or we can put up a new wall. But there’s only one Stephanie Judith Tanner. You could never be replaced.
Stephanie: Gee. I never thought of that.
Danny: I think about it every day.

Ahhh…go watch it here:

http://www.peekvid.com/feature/tv/464/Full-House.html

I miss Full House.