princess paupr’s Reflections

I freak out about stuff….ALL THE TIME. Well, more like, a lot of the time…

I really need to stop doing this to myself..to my body. I’m pretty sure the stress on my body is causing free-radical oxidation. =P  And moreover, it reflects how shallow my trust/faith is in God.

Yesterday, I told my dad how I was so disappointed in myself because I couldn’t calm down during my interview to coherently express how the job is a good match with my skills and experiences etc. I was so nervous I thought I bombed the interview. He told me that I needn’t worry about coop, school stuff…to just chill (this is paraphrasing him). He also told me that he knows I try my best and that he’s proud of me. (I think I cried/teared up after that). I don’t have many heart-to-hearts with my dad, but I know he cares a lot. Today when I called him and told him I got the job, he was like “see, I told you so…why do you always underestimate yourself?”

I don’t know why.

Maybe this is just my thorn.  In many ways, I’d like to think I’ve come a long way…Compared to who I was in highschool, I know I’ve become a lot more confident/self-assured.   But yah..I just think it’s amazing how things are slowly coming together. It has been amazing to see how God really does provide - Jehovah Jireh. “I believe; help me with my disbelief”.

I can’t wait til summer:)

P.S. I’m working at the Ontario Ministry of Health and Long-term Care, in the Local Health Integration Networks (Toronto Central) as a planning and integration assistant.