Taken from Seminary Wives Institute: The Ministry of Hospitality
“MUSTS” FOR YOU TO KNOW, PRACTICE AND SHARE:
- Gentlemen should hold the chair and push it in for the lady closest to him at a formal dinner.
- Place your napkin on your lap by folding it in half with the crease towards your body AFTER the blessing.
- Place small amounts of food on your plate at a time. You should be able to see the plate between the portions. Do not take more than two pieces of meat.
- Use the correct utensil (more about this when we study place settings).
- If you are missing something vital (napkin, knife, dinner fork, etc.), tell your hostess as unobtrusively as possible. Do not leave your seat.
- Hold your fork like a pencil – NOT with your fist!
- Do not use your fork to stab food but instead gently pierce your food.
- Cut no more than three bites of meat at a time – 1 or 2 is best.
- Use a spoon to eat soup or ice cream only.
- Spoon soup away from you. (Geez, who actually pays attention?!)
- Take your food to your mouth, not your mouth to your food!
- Chew with your mouth closed. Do not attempt to talk with any food in your mouth.
- Remember, your bread plate is on your left and your stemware is on your right. When banquet tables are set with guests shouler to shoulder, people often get confused about this!
- When passing food to another guest, pass it to the right.
- Do not touch the rim of glassware or coffee cups when serving beverages. Handle by the base or handle only.
- Do not touch your used silverware to any communal dish.
- Always pass the salt and pepper together, even if only one is requested. Set them on the table, no in another guests’ hands.
- Do not crunchice under any circumstances!
- Take the roll that is on the topc of the break basket.
- Do not eat until everyone is served. This is true for each course.
- Eat at approximately the same speed as the other guests. Do not gobble your food but do nothold up the next course either.
- Do not turn your coffee cup over if you do not wish to drink coffee. Graciously decline instead.
- Place your napkin to the left of your plate when the meal is over but ONLY after the hostess has done so first. Do not refold the napkin. Push your chair back under the table as you leave.
- Never scrape plates at the table nor pile them up as you remove them.
- Put any item of food on your plate before eating it so as to avoid the appearance of eating from the bowl.”
- Toothpicks are acceptable at home but not in public. The same is true of chewing gum.
- In America, elbows may be placed on the table only when no food is on the table.
- White shoes and purses are generally worn after Memorial Day and before Labor Day. (There are regional variations, i.e. after Derby Day in Kentucky).
There were more interesting tips but I think you get the point. But if you’re interested, I can make you a copy of my notes. 
an addendum to soup:
coinciding with point 11, bring the spoon (laden with soup) to your mouth. do not put the whole spoon into your mouth, but rather tip the soup in (without slurping). when nearing the bottom of the bowl, lift the plate under the bowl to tip it outwards, allowing the soup to gather at a greater depth, giving your spoon an easier time with ladling.
I wonder what would be harder for my prospective wife to recite: this list of 28 OR the 5points of Calvinsm+the 5 solas?!
I think I’ll pass her if she can remember 60% of this list of 28, hehehe
wow this list is so ridiculous- i can’t believe that they have a course that teaches this material in seminary, as if the only role for wives of pastors or church leaders is to look nice and be polite, rather than be engaged and involved in being hospitable!
it’s funny- Chinese manners probably breaks half these rules, like the toothpick at home only (haha), touching silverware on communal dish (broken #2), telling the waiter if something is missing quietly (haha so opposite at chinese restaurants, we yell to get their attention)
Excellent. Thank You !
i m learning to b like a princess because i am getting married to a really rich and royal-like family with perfect etiquettes. always been kind of tomboy. i never know being gracious wud b such a hard work. this helps a lot to me.
i thoroughly enjoyed this list. I wish you would send me a more in depth list if you may.
Thanks for the tips…
My cousin loves princess so much. She always try to act like a princess. But she can’t. So she ask me to teach her because I know some of them. She’s just a 5 years old kid.
Thanks so much for this awesome list! I’m writing a chapter book/novel about a girl being a princess, and I really needed some princess etiquette! Your list really helped! Thanks!
My 5 year old grandaughter and I are writting a manners book together this summer, why? becaue this winter we were talking about manners and she said princess always use good manners. so we are going to illustrate the book with coloring book pictures green dress for go its a good manner.. red dress for stop youare not using yo ur manners.