So I just spent an hour in Dr. Paul McDonald’s office talking to him about mostly school and what sort of options I should look into, in terms of a grad school, and a career. I must say, of all the profs and TAs I talked to this term, he was probably the most helpful. He also took the most time to really listen and share his thoughts. 
I want to do OT, but I don’t think I have the marks to get in. It is hard to acknowledge this, but I have to be realistic - I need to look at other options.
Some basic but important things that Paul shared with me that spoke out to me is that I have to be “true to myself”. I’ve been trying to take these science-y courses to prepare myself for grad school, but the truth is, I suck at science. I sucked at Bio 130, I sucked at Chem 120, I sucked at Physics 110, I sucked at biochem, I sucked at anatomy. I *wish* I were smarter/better at science and I’ve considered whether it’s just that I haven’t worked hard enough. I’m beginning to believe that’s not the case. As much as I want to gel with science, science doesn’t want to gel with me. I’m a round peg and science is a square hole.
I guess what I’m planning to do now is still apply for OT, but I’m not going to take any more science courses if I don’t have to. First, I’m gonna try to defer taking Bio 373 til the term after, in the summer, when I can concentrate on it fully and HOPEFULLY get a half decent mark. I’m gonna think more about what I like, and what I’m good at. Looking at my transcript, I’ve almost always done “well” (my idea of “well” = 80 and above) on my health courses. Maybe look into getting my feet wet in the research field.
Talking to McDonald was good…He shared about how as long as you know your values, all you need to do is find a job that matches those values, and you will be happy.
So what do I value?
I value…people. I value making people’s life better…making a “difference” (as cliche and cheesy as that is). I value letting people know they are important and are loved (especially by God).
I DON’T value making a lot of money, being in a cut-throat business…I don’t value sitting in front of a computer all day, reading literature and doing literature reviews. I don’t value being in a lab all day, poking at cells.
*sigh*
I feel like I’m starting all over again.
