princess paupr’s Reflections

I’ve been watching CSI re-runs on Spike every night when I come home from work. I only watch the original series because I can’t STAND Horatio from Miami and I can’t get into CSI New York either. But yeah, for some reason I don’t really get bored of watching stories of homocide, and finding out “who did it”.

So yeah, one of the episodes I watched today had an interesting line..

Grissom: DNA is what you are, not who you are. What you are never changes; who you are never stops changing.

As I look through facebook pics at old friends from Highschool, middle school and beyond, I realize that for many of them, I would barely recognize off the streets now. It’s funny how one minute you’re best friends with someone, and then the next, you hardly know them at all. Some of them are HUGE (in size) now, and I would probably be afraid to walk past them on a dark alley at night. But then I remember that we were around the same size in grade school.  If I think of the “body” being only the shell that covers the outside of someone, they suddenly are a lot less intimidating:) 

I think I am changing too. But is it for the better? I am having trouble letting go of the past and those there were a part of it. It’s not good to live in the past, and to hope “things will be the same” again.

So this is it.

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

So today was the last day of my first week of work at the TLCPC, MSH. I’m working as a research assistant for what will hopefully be an 8-month co-op term. Upon finishing work, I will return to the loo for one final term - my 4B, and finale.

I was a bit “apprehensive” (haha..hlth 352 for you) about starting the position, mainly because I haven’t had any prior research experience. As well, my predecessors were all, what seemed to me, the “cream of the crop” - smart students all headed for med school. I feel like I need to make up for my lack of experience with working really hard - “Even though I might not be the smartest, I’ll work the hardest” (something I picked up from a friend :P). In any case, I feel like the first week went pretty well…My co-worker, who is a bit like my supervisor, has been SUPER helpful in answering all the questions I have about the study I’ll be conducting and just with settling into the work environment. WHAT A RELIEF - during my last co-op I felt pretty isolated at times, and with no real support/mentorship from my boss or others. I guess they HAVE to make sure I understand all the procedures because they’re pretty much counting on me to gather all the data.

And the cool thing - they have casual Fridays! (I didn’t have casual fridays in my last co-op).

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Transitioning back to home life is always a bit difficult. Parents want to know where you’re going, when you’ll be back, who you’re meeting up with, etc. I’m not exactly complaining, because I know it’s their way of showing they care. Also, at home, I am not only responsible for myself - I have to care about those around me. Sounds pretty selfish, but yeah..in the loo I only need to worry about myself. If I don’t eat, then I don’t eat. If I don’t wash the dishes right away, no one’s gonna give me grief about it.:P I guess this is good preparation for the future, if and when I have a family of my own. I realize that I really do enjoy being free (like in the loo).

***
There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him (Mark 7:15). Been mulling over some verses in Mark. I realize that God has been trying to discipline me over the years, in the manner of the words I say (My family is quick to remind of this).

Have you ever met a really handsome guy/beautiful girl and then he/she starts talking and you’re like “UGH.”  Suddenly the person isn’t so hot anymore.  Sometimes I feel like I’m ugla-fying myself, and more importantly…just not being the person that claims to “follow Christ”.  I have this nasty habit of letting my tongue loose around those closest to me (mostly my family; occasionally good friends).  Once again, I think it goes back to thinking that you can get away with being harsh/curt because they’re your family and they have to love and forgive you.  =/

And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.  All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” (Mark 7:20-23).

So speaking evil can really be evidence of a problem of sin within - a problem of the heart.

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Waiting for my mexican.