By Lifehouse

So it’s been a while since I last updated. This summer has been quite busy… Right after finishing up my last term of undergrad, I travelled for 3 weeks around HK/China. As soon as I came back I started my training with TCM (6 weeks in total), and then now, I’ve just finished up the third week of camp (3 more weeks to go!!)

Unfortunately, I cannot post up any of the pics of the kids online because of privacy/security reasons. But I can share some stories, to paint the picture of what camp is like at Malvern Sonshine Day Camp.

In the past 3 weeks at camp, I have been frustrated/exasperated, annoyed/irritated, and tired/exhausted. I chose to lead the gr 3/4s at camp thinking that they’d be the easiest group. (I had thought that gr 1/2s are too young and the gr 5/6s tend to be are mouthy and taller than me). However, the generous consensus is that have the most difficult group. I’ve got the Three musketeers + Neo* (they’re essentially 4 boys who are extremely disruptive, don’t listen, and Neo likes to pick fights and probably has ADHD) And yet there have been a few shining moments that make all of it worthwhile. Like when Neo looks you in the eye and smiles the purest, most beautiful smile that warms your heart. And when the little kids sing “Jesus you’re my superhero” and do the actions with such enthusiasm!

Today we went to Petticoat Creek to swim in their humongo outdoor pool. At one point, I talked to this grade 7 boy Jay* who was sitting by himself on the grass. He was a nice boy…polite, quiet. Not like most other gr 7 boys. He even encouraged me this past week after I led worship, saying I did a good job (seriously, what kind of kid does that?) Anyways, I noticed him scratching himself on the legs pretty vigorously. When I looked closely, I saw that he had hives all over his legs and on his upper body too. I suspected it was an allergic reaction to the chlorinated water…And so we got him to shower and change.

Afterwards, I felt bad for Jay that he couldn’t swim for the rest of the day, so I bought him a freezie and we sat and talked. He told me it was his first time swimming in an actual swimming pool (that’s why he didn’t even know about being allergic to chlorine), and that it was his first time at camp. Jay’s an only child that lives with his mom (who works as a maid) and grandma…his parents divorced when he was young.

And that’s the pattern I see in the kids at Malvern camp. Broken families. Single mothers raising their kids by themselves. Although some of them appear to be pretty normal, happy kids (like Jay). Others are noticeably angry, bitter. And some are just so “bad”. But really, I think they acting disobedient because they really just want attention and love/affection.

But really, brokenness occurs even in “nuclear” families. Two people may live together and hate each other, and fight all the time. In some ways, I feel that that’s worse that divorce.

I’m seeing more and more of my own brokenness and how I need God so much in my life.

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there's the healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I would, would be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there is healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin)
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you