What a week.
Since before Kentucky, I’d been staying up late studying for my history 4 exam and then after writing my exam on Friday, I went to a bbq, a sleepover and the next day I played a double header for softball and then went to the “Bifteck Steakhouse” for dinner. After that I stayed up preparing the Sunday school lesson for the next day.
But now it’s over. My week of craziness!
Yesterday night, I finally did my laundry (haven’t done it in like, 3 or 4 weeks =/), cleaned my room, and generally ‘organized’ myself. Lately, I’ve been really trying to be more “neat”, knowing that my housemates in September are neat freaks and I am..not. I am not one to put things away until it has all piled up. I clean when I need to, not usually out of a “wanting” to. But I realize also that the habits I make now will carry on to when I (and IF I) have a family. I want to be a good, clean, neat, homemaker and mother.
Anyways, something that I was reminded of by a good friend this past Sunday is that “trying our best may not be the same ‘best’ for each circumstance”. He shared about how he takes people out to coffee, takes the time to care even when he can’t “afford” to, in terms of finances or time.
To me, trying your best means getting the job done, following through on the commitments you made 100% or as much as you possibly can. With school, I have sacrificed going out and having fun, in hopes that the extra time spent will get me the better grade. However I realize that it’s not always how much you study, but how you study….and how focused you are when you study. With serving, to me, trying my best is making it to all practices, preparing ahead of time and generally, being on the ball.
I guess sometimes I can have a perfectionistic attitude towards things..Other times I don’t care very much at all.
I got angry at Gordon this past weekend because I had wanted to leave the sleepover at 12:30pm so I could be at the diamond at 1pm. Instead we left at like, 1:15 because it took me that long to convince him to go and for him to finally get his keys. I hadn’t been to any of the practices lately because I’ve been physically exhausted, busy with studying, scrapbooking, working etc. And that’s why I was really upset to be late…again. I felt like I missed my mark as governor and as a team member. I didn’t fulfill my duties. I was angry and disappointed with myself, knowing that probably my team members felt the same way.
I took it out of Gordon. =/
At the beginning of this term I had hoped to be really active and do a lot of things. I was warned not to bite off more than I could chew, but I didn’t really listen. I think I should’ve, because this summer has not really been restful or reflective. I’m about to start school in less than a month and I am already pooped. My batteries have not been recharged. I still have this stinking work term report to write.
I could’ve done a better job as governor, as a team cheerleader. I should’ve done more this term to care for people and really help build “team unity”. I also really wish I could’ve spent more time with Gordon and also with friends and also family. But the thing is, I did my best, considering the circumstances.
Next time, I’m gonna try and pick a few things and do them well. Instead of picking a thousand things and doing them sloppily. I am disappointed when I disappoint others. But sometimes you don’t know how much you can handle until you are in the situation itself.
