hahah shirtless boys.

Not bad…would sound better without the country twang.

A sense of nostalgia overcame me…so much has changed, and I’m in a different place now.

If I could go back in time, I’d yell at myself to stop worrying and enjoy life more.

I mean, overall, a complaint is a sign (even if slight) of ungratefulness.
People who are grateful for what they have and their circumstances don’t complain.
So every complaint we have is a moment where we’re taking something for granted.
Now, God is merciful, so it’s not the end of the world, but I imagine He hates hearing his children complain about petty things when they have His love.
And so, I hate it when I complain.

…just made me realize how I am often so UNgrateful.  Especially with school.  Sure it’s hard, sure it’s busy…but really, every time I feel like complaining, I should remind myself of what a blessing it is to be here (to have the opportunity to learn and to further my education!)

Here’s to being more THANKFUL.

If I kiss you where it’s sore
If I kiss you where it’s sore
Will you feel better, better, better
Will you feel anything at all
Will you feel better, better, better
Will you feel anything at all

But here’s what my shoebox looked like this year:)

From Random

I know that I haven’t talked about my 101 list in a while…but I’ve been doing a lot of my 101 list without even really trying!

Anyways, here is an update in the cooking arena.

In the past 4 months I have tried to make

1) Peanut Butter Cookies

From Food!

This was for my OT small group…wheat-free for those who have allergies!

2) Quail (made from dad’s recipe)

I’ve always loved eating quail…i’m not afraid to admit it.  The meat is tender, juicy…tastes like chicken but BETTER!
From Food!

“>
Ask me if you want the “recipe”!

3) The best chilli evarrr!

From Food!

Made this with my small group. The recipe calls for dark beer, but I didn’t have that handy so I didn’t put any in. It was missing honey at the time it was served…the next day I added some in and it tasted even better! Chilli is such an easy meal…I really wish I had made it more when I was at Waterloo. Only thing is, it makes you a bit gassy!

And made his dwelling among us. (John 1:14a)

So that was the theme of Urbana 09.  It’s been more than 2 weeks since I came back and I still haven’t really sat down to gather all my thoughts.  Anyways, here it goes..

Urbana was an inspiring and challenging experience.  That’s usually the short sentence I tell people when they ask me how it was.  It’s hard not to feel that way when you’re challenged through sermon after sermon, workshop after workshop, bible study after bible study to live a radically different life.  Although this was my second time going to Urbana, it was definitely  a great time for learning more about living out my Christian faith, about the way God is working around the world.  Although there were a lot of reminders and challenges, I want to share two things that I learned (or relearned) at Urbana this year (well, technically, it would be LAST year).

Lesson 1: Pray big and pray bold

During the Wednesday night session, one speaker (I think it was the Rexdale Alliance pastor) spoke on the topic of prayer, and specifically how to pray.  He started off by talking about how we often pray “cliche” prayers… We tell God things he already knows  i.e. “Lord, you know that so-and-so is out of a job.  And Lord, you know how hard it is.  Would you please help so-and-so get a job?  Thanks”  These cliche prayers lack faith - they are prayers that do not point to the power and sovereignty of God.  Our prayers demonstrate how view of who God is…if we think that he is the creator and sustainer of all things, why do we pray such little prayers?

Going back a bit, I think that many Christians (including myself), often do not spend time in prayer because well…is it really effective?  Does he hear and does he answer?  The bible has some excellent examples of God answering prayers.  Think about the Israelites crying out to God while they suffered under the iron fist of Pharaoh in Egypt.  God answered prayer by sending Moses to free his people.  Then there are characters like Hannah, a woman who was barren.  When God granted her plea for a son, it showed that he is a “God to whom no hurt is too trivial to demand his care” (John White in “Daring to Draw Near”).  But what I’ve been learning recently is that though God can answer prayer in favour of the person’s requests, prayer, is not so much asking God for stuff or even getting an answer…According to White, “true prayer is to respond to the true God as he reveals more of himself by his Spirit in his Word.”

Anyways, the speaker gave some really good practical advice.
1) First, set prayer on the sovereignty and fact that God is creator.  Prayer only makes sense if God is sovereign. Otherwise, what would be the point in praying?
2) Think about bible verses/characters in the bible that apply in this situation.
3) Pray for the unleashing of God’s power and creativity (unleash the person so that he can use creativity)

Example of a prayer of how we can make our puny prayer from before into a “good” prayer:

Heavenly Father, help Jon know that know that you are the sovereign God, in charge of the economy.  We pray that you would unleash his creativity and open new ways of using his talents.  We pray that you would use his creative powers to make new contacts.  We also ask that you would help Jon to be true to himself in the interviews - that he would not feel pressured to make himself something he is not.

Pretty neat eh?

Gosh this is getting long.

Lesson 2: Our mission can be best understood by the incarnation of Jesus Christ

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,^[d] who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14)

So what is the big deal about Jesus dwelling among us?  Why is the incarnation so important?

Well, the main speaker, Ramez, reminded me that the incarnation is the first, the means by which God reaches out to us!  “The word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.” Why did God send his son in human form?  It’s because God wanted to show us his love!  And what became way for this to be demonstrated than through sending Jesus became one of us, to talk like us, eat like us, fart like us (hehe), so that he would identify with us and show us that he loves us!

Secondly, the incarnation is the message and model that God wants to communicate with us.  Through the incarnation we see the glory of God, we see undeserved favour and grace.  This is the model that we should have in our our lives!  This means identifying to the brokenness of people around us, and taking on the shame of others, just as Jesus took on all our sin on the cross.  And just as people to drawn to the attractiveness of Jesus, the world needs to not see Christians as sad people, who are tied down by rules or whatever.  Other people should instead be drawn to us, because we reflect the loving character, beauty and “winsomeness” of Jesus.

I took a workshop called “Practical Justice 101″ - Living a lifestyle of Justice by Randy White where he elaborated on following an incarnational model might look like.  He gave three points on how we can DO justice instead of dabbling in it.

1) Displace onself - learn to acquire new skills.  This means making connections with persons suffering.  Displacement sends that message that you are willing to endure the crap of the neighourhood.  This could mean intentional relocation, attending meetings of groups you disagree with theologically, attending a church different than you in terms of ethnicity

For myself, I feel that God has strategically placed me in my neighbourhood for a reason.  Years ago, I really wanted to go out of this neighbourhood because I felt different and couldn’t relate to a lot of the people.  Since finishing my summer internship at TCM’s Malvern Sonshine day camp, I’ve been volunteering once a week at a “Pioneer Club” in my neighbourhood.  Basically, it’s like scouts, except “Christian” version…We sing songs, do arts and crafts, play games, and learn bible lessons.  (Kids can also work towards badges).  I feel like this is my way of reaching out to my community.

2) Dismantle - i.e. stereotypes, addictions, unhealthy ways of spending time/money.

For myself, this dismantling has been an ongoing process of healing and learning.  Sometimes we have unconscious racism…

3) Discovery - i.e. of gifts we didn’t know existed.  The call for justice is apparent throughout the bible, and it calls us to have a new perspective on poverty and a new way of seeing our city.  It should think about ways to leverage our privileges to change the system (of government, social services etc).

TAFN.  Sorry that this was so long…

Ted: Okay, I’m going to say something out loud that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I’m waiting for it to happen. I guess I’m just tired of waiting. And that is all I’m going to say on that subject.
Stella: I know that you’re tired of waiting. And you might have to wait a little while more but, she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.

-From “As Fast As She Can” (Season 4 Episode 23 of HIMYM)

Been watching way too much HIMYM.  I’m not in a hurry, and I’m not thinking about it too much.  But I thought this episode was actually kinda meaningful.

Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again

‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight
I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I’m nothing without you

‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn’t miss you
But I can’t let you go
Oh yeah

‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

‘Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you

I can be anything
That you want me to be
A punching bag
A piece of string
That reminds you not to think
They found the note
down in your car
It’s not your fault it gets this hard

Hold your head high
Don’t look down
I’m by your side
I won’t back down
You wanted a hero tonight
Well I’m not made of steel
But your secret’s safe with me

I can be anything
That you want me to be
A holy cross
Some sympathy
That reminds you how to bleed
They found the note down
in your car
You climbed up here to fall apart
They knock you down
I’ll pick you up
They laugh at you
I’ll shut them up

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’d understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’d understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me

Call me..

For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me…

***

Will: I know it’s not always easy for you, Rachel. And I know that there are some things about yourself that you think you’d like to change. But you should know that there’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are-including the parts of yourself that even you don’t like…those are gonna be the things he likes the most.

Rachel: Thanks, Mr Schu.

(Verse 1 – J. Han)

Our love for each other was so pure.
I looked out for you, you reached out to me.
We would never be separated by simple aberration,
-cause of regular collaborations.
Yes, our times together were so sweet and
on the weekends we would have our meetings.
You were seeking my attention,
you called me every single day for – conversation.
You were confident even when the problems hit.
Obstacles and potholes were challenges.
You trusted me – amidst your disarray.
I hoped you stayed to hear – what I had to say.
My encouragement – was your strength to carry on,
even though you relied on Dom Perignon.
You wanted a higher love, I provided.
-You are my bride, why did you fight it?

**You wanna be together with me for eternity?
You turn your head the other way and choose to feed your greed.
You are my masterpiece, I have washed your feet.
My love for you will never change, I will never change.

(Verse 2 – J. Han)

No matter what the world says about you.
Truth – will always stand and it’ll bear fruit.
Sometimes you’re embarrassed of me
and yet so arrogant to your peers like pharisees.
Heresy floats on the surface.
Instead of building on my rock, you decide to throw them.
You would greet me with a cloaked passion
but lacked the – compassion, you actor.
You act up, attracted to blasphe-
“me, myself, and I” – mentality.
The fallacy in that you ain’t really worthy
you’re not the master says Luke 17.
I married you, I’ve tasted the tea you brewed
If you ain’t hot for me, then you’re dispensable.
I don’t care how sweet you were.
Today make sure you pick up your cross and follow my word.**

(Verse 3 – Sam Ock)

You’re holding out for something big to happen
All you really need are my arms to be wrapped in
You know that, but you refuse to admit that I am the only one that you’re lackin
What happened to the passion? You’re lazy
Letting all the stupid things drive you crazy
I told you, I am everything you’re ever gonna need
So please let go of it all,
You see the pain that I felt for you then?
The gift you received with your every single “amen?
It’s been a few days, months, or years since the last time I took away your fears, your tears
I miss you…well did you know that?
I paid the price so you never gotta look back
All I want is to love and be loved in return.

So much has happened since school started.  Plans of being cool, calm and collected were pretty much shafted because well, I’m too cool to stay cool.

School is going pretty well.  However, seasonal depression is starting to kick in with the short days, cold weather, chronic sleep deprivation, occupational imbalance and delays on the TTC.  I need to invest in some bright lights.

When people ask me how I’m liking OT, I usually tell them “oh it’s okay” or “it’s alright so far”.  In all honesty, I’m  not very “engaged” in the learning so far because it’s all about foundational, theoretical models…but I’m not really complaining.  I did really enjoy going on a 2-week placement to observe an OT at RVC hospital (where I realized how most of the theories have little application in the working world haha). And I’m super thankful that my study group gets along really well.  Almost all of the assignments are group work, and I’ve heard that some of my classmates have some tension going on in their groups.  My group and I exercised creativity in two of our presentations, dressing up as hippies/scientists.

Oh and we saved Africa.

Going into UT, one thing I’ve made a conscious effort to do is have fun and be open to meeting new people. It’s been difficult to really do those things because I commute downtown and often don’t want to stick around after class is done. However I did…

..go on a boat cruise with my classmates! and..

A halloween party @ Val’s place. Yes, I thought a leadpipe was to be used as a blow dart;)

Anyways.

More stories to come.

Unnatural, frantic, anxious work, work done under pressure of greed or fear or any other inordinate passion, cannot properly speaking be dedicated to God, because God never wills such work directly.  He may permit that, through no fault of our own, we may have to work madly and distractedly, due to our sins, and to the sins of the society in which we live.  In that case we must tolerate it and make the best of what we cannot avoid.  But let us not be blind to the distinction between sound, healthy work and unnatural toil.

-Thomas Merton

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

**

On Sunday I visited Grace Toronto Church downtown with JW.  It was such a nice, homey church.  Wish I could visit more often…too bad I don’t live downtown.

#83, CHECK!

Unfortunately I was the only one who was tall enough and had a license…so even though I could’ve gone on the big track, I stayed with the family one.  It was still a lot of fun though..and for some reason, the ppl I passed by kept colliding into each other.  Not my fault though. . .

**

This summer has been “go go go” the entire time.  Even after finishing camp, I didn’t really have time to sit and reflect deeply about things.  (It will bite me later)  And I know things are about to pick up again with school starting on Thursday.  On one hand I’m really excited to start a new chapter…on the other hand, I’m terrified about whether I can meet this new challenge.

Things I want to do differently this time around..

1) RELAX.  Have fun! Enjoy myself…

2) Talk to my profs..ask questions and be proactive about getting help.

3) Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!

4) Develop close friendships with girls.  And maintain them.

5) Choose ONE fellowship and stick with it.

And I don’t know where you went when you left me but
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone
Wonderin’ when the call comes
Where you say it’s alright
You got your heart right

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ‘till you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight
Two wrongs make it all alright tonight

“All you need is love” is a lie ’cause
We had a love but we still said goodbye
Now we’re tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it nobody’s fault cause there’s
Nothing to blame At the drop of your name
It’s only the air you took and the breath you left

So maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ’til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)

I called
because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you’d fought me ‘til Your dying day
Don’t let me get away

Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say ‘this is the way that I used to be
There’s no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Oh and the sadness
It’s alright, it’s alright
Oh and the sadness
It’s alright, it’s alright
Oh and the sadness
It’s alright, it’s alright

In these past 2 weeks, I have..
-Explored UT campus and met up with friends for lunch
-Explored York campus and rode the VIVA! (I heart the VIVA - it’s soooo much better than the TTC)
-Attended a pool party!
-Met up with an old friend for breakfast/brunch. Afterwards we hung out in the park for a long time, just chatting and catching up. It was really nice:)
-Watched a gruesome movie about aliens
-Played softball with waterloo’ers and had expensive bubble tea afterwards
-Had appetizers @ Moxies with ‘loo healthies
-Attended 2 weddings & 1 banquet
-Got poked several times by the doctor and nurses:(
-Took a walk with 2 beautiful ladies around the Distillery District and enjoyed some delightful pistachio gelato
-Built sandcastles, flew a kite and watched the sky turn colours with the nightfall. Unfortunately I was dumb enough to think that Bluffer’s Park faced the sunset. 2/3, isn’t bad though. The beautiful sunset will have to wait.

And last but not least, I went on a lovely Tai Pan road trip to see the Thousand Islands, Old Montreal, Charlevoix, and Mont Tremblant with the parentals.